Guide To Female Masturbation

Self Pleasure

Female masturbation is a topic that’s been missing from the mainstream discussion for too long, especially when it seems like there’s references everywhere to masturbating if you have a penis. Well we want to change that.

Self pleasure, when you have a vulva, can require a little more know-how than the pretty self-explanatory ‘rub and tug’ or ‘jerking off’ that penis owners engage with when masturbating.

First and foremost, it’s important to understand that masturbating doesn’t need to end with an orgasm to make it successful. It’s about dedicating time to yourself and your own pleasure, and to get those endorphins flowing, regardless of the result.

There are plenty of benefits to masturbation. The release of endorphins (hormones which create feelings of pleasure and well-being, whci are also released during exercise) can reduce stress, help you sleep better, and increase feelings of well-being.

Additionally, masturbating helps you build sexual confidence, which can improve relationships and promote positive self-image. Unlike so many pleasurable activities in life, this one is guilt-free fun with no negative side effects.

1. Mentality

Setting your mind in the right space is the first step for getting the most out of your masturbation time. There’s no right or wrong way, and therefore not definitive “Female Masturbation How-To Guide” anywhere.

By understanding this, you’re setting yourself up for success. What masturbation is, is time dedicated to yourself. Entering this zone with the outlook that the sole intention of masturbating is to understand yourself better and bring yourself (well deserved!) pleasure is the key to satisfaction from your self-pleasure session.

2. Give yourself time

As you become more experienced, you may learn a sure-fire technique to get you off in two minutes flat. But even if you get to this point eventually, there’s still benefits to setting aside some quality time to be intimate alone.

This goes hand in hand with fine tuning your mentality towards masturbation, as you’ll want to be relaxed while you play, not keeping one eye on the clock because you have an appointment soon.

By blocking out a solid piece of time, you can really invest in learning how to masturbate. Light a candle, put on some music, or have a hot shower beforehand. This is all part of the foreplay that will let you be present in the moment.

3. Understand the different sensations

There’s plenty of different areas in vulva owners' bodies that elicit pleasurable responses when stimulated, so don’t think you’re limited to just one way to masturbate.

Other than just using your hands, there’s toys designed specifically for this area, namely vibrators. If you’re a beginner to the world of vibrators, there’s plenty to choose from.

Clitoral suction vibrators mimic the sensations of oral sex, while classics like bullet vibrators have tons of different intensity and rhythm settings, helping you discover the type of vibrations and pressure you like.

Once you’ve spent some time learning what you like on the outside, you can try moving inside to penetrative masturbation methods. For vulva owners, the G-spot is located between the vaginal opening and cervix on the top side (think belly button side) of the vagina.

An erogenous zone, stimulating the G-spot increases pleasure and can lead to an orgasm sensation different to that caused by stimulating the clitoris. Try using your fingers first to determine where your G-spot is located. It will feel spongey compared to the surrounding area.

Lube is your friend when it comes to any sort of masturbation, but particularly for penetrative. Apply a water-based lube to your fingers and vaginal opening before you begin.

Don’t get too caught up in only stimulating your G-spot. Remember that self pleasure is about exploring and finding out what gets you going. You can try mimicking a “come here” movement with your fingers, while others may prefer faster in-and-out movements.

Like with external masturbation, there are also plenty of toys for internal masturbation for vulva owners if you feel your fingers aren’t quite giving you the sensation you want. Dildos are designed for penetrative play and are available in shapes, sizes and materials. Some even vibrate.

Start on the smaller side and work your way up while you discover if internal penetration is a masturbation method that works for you.

Try using your fingers first to determine where your G-spot is located. It will feel spongey compared to the surrounding area.

Lube is your friend when it comes to any sort of masturbation, but particularly for penetrative. Apply a water-based lube to your fingers and vaginal opening before you begin.

Don’t get too caught up in only stimulating your G-spot. Remember that self pleasure is about exploring and finding out what gets you going. You can try mimicking a “come here” movement with your fingers, while others may prefer faster in-and-out movements.

Like with external masturbation, there are also plenty of toys for internal masturbation for vulva owners if you feel your fingers aren’t quite giving you the sensation you want. Dildos are designed for penetrative play and are available in shapes, sizes and materials. Some even vibrate.

Start on the smaller side and work your way up while you discover if internal penetration is a masturbation method that works for you.

Remember, whenever engaging with any form of anal penetration, apply lube. Unlike your vagina, your anus doesn’t self lubricate. Lube up your fingers or an anal sex toy, like a butt plug, and relax.

If you’re new to anal play, the sensations will likely take a little getting used to while you insert anything into your anus, but the benefits are worth it. You can use in and out motions or try swirling motions and figure out a rhythm that works for you.

Make sure you only ever use toys specifically designed for anal use, and never use the some toy for your anal and vaginal play.

Try alternating between different rhythms. It may take a bit of practice (like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time). If you find it difficult to master, never fear.

Try a bullet vibrator on your clitoris while using your free hand internally, or try a rabbit vibrator. Rabbit vibrators are a genius toy that pair a shaft for G-spot stimulation with external “rabbit ears” designed to sit on your clit and vibrate.

This leaves your other hand free to touch other erogenous zones, like your nipples, thighs and stomach. Just remember lube, lube, lube and the rabbit will be your next best friend.

4. Practice

Like with most skills, practice is key. The only difference here is that practicing female masturbation should be nothing but fun and enjoyable. You’re not practicing your sprints: you’re finding new ways to bring yourself pleasure.

Whatever you do, don’t turn self pleasure into a chore. If you have a night to yourself but find that you aren’t in the mood, don’t push yourself. Vice versa, if you’re in the middle of watching a movie and find your mind wandering choose-your-own-adventure style with the shirtless lead, embrace spontaneity and go for it. Just maybe not if you’re in a crowded cinema.

5. Explore

Either way, trial and error is the best way to find out what works for you and toys are no different. They’re also helpful for ensuring you don’t get stuck in a rut.

If you’ve got clitoral orgasms down to a fine art and can smash out the big O in under two minutes - hot. But why not take it to the next level when you have more time on your hands and take it into the bath with a waterproof toy?

You may discover that lesbian porn gets you feeling some kind of way, or maybe Hentai (Japanese anime porn) creates scenes you never could have imagined yourself.

Try different modes too. If you’ve only ever watched porn or used your own imagination for fantasies, what about reading or listening?

All your senses can contribute to arousal, so a breathy voice reading you a raunchy audio book might totally change the masturbation experience for you. You won’t know until you try.

Erotic literature has come a long way since Fifty Shades of Grey. Websites like Literotica can be accessed for free online, with an endless supply of scenarios. If you feel inspired, you could even try your hand at writing your own.

For anal play, a variation of doggy style will give you easy access to your clitoris and anus, so you can stimulate both easily. Position yourself on all floors, ideally on a soft surface for comfort, then lay your head down on a pillow, leaving your rear in the air.

You can use one hand to reach around and use your toy or fingers for anal play, while the other hand is free for use on your clit. Big yes.

If you came here looking for a definitive answer after asking yourself “How can I make myself orgasm?”, then unfortunately there isn’t one. The answer lies with you, in getting to know your body and what turns you on.

You may find more than one way to make yourself orgasm, or it may take you a long time to get there. Just know that as long as you’re enjoying yourself, you’re doing it right.